Friday, December 31, 2010

so.. long story short.
i got in a (ahem) well-deserved fight with my family, and my sister somehow misconstrued something and thought i was threatening tammy. sigh. anyway, i ended up pushing two people: my mom, and my sister.  my sister called the cops.  they showed up and the one on the right is like, "count." i said, "i'm not interested in counting." (there were 5 or 6).  then another was giving me bullcrap about, the first time i took the pill i was in a hospital and so that means.. blah blah blah, i said, "that's logic.  i'm not interested."  i also complimented one of the bastards that i liked the way he was laughing about it.  but anyway, after i said i'm not interested, they took this white, plastic, square gun and pointed it to me. i faced him blank.  it turns out it's a taser, and for once in history they shot at the neck.
then some ambulance brought me to a mental ward. some caretaker (male nurse?) (not in the mental department yet) told me i'll go for a psych evaluation, and i asked if they're the kind that force pills if you give them a wrong answer.  i don't remember his response now.. it was kind of relieving but maybe a little vague?  oh, that reminds me.  some cop-dude was telling me about how it's bad to have fights where you harm eachother or whatever, and i told him, "that's philosophical." (i had to be brief with those guys.) also after i got tased and my reaction, the tall white-haired guy on the left said, "well, i'm impressed. i didn't expect that one" or something like it.  also in the ambulance some guy was looking for something abstract under my skin and before that, *threatened* me, "i'm pretty quick." he was but he was all bullshit.  anyway, so i end up in this hospital for mental patients, and i have no idea if it's the baker act or when i can get out or.. basically what day of the week it was.  but at least they served food.  god.  so anyway, my psychiatrist (i won't tell more about *that* story...) and some other dude who was on the ball (though vanessa claimed he's just mental) and my parents combined, all got me out of that place.
it's funny, in a funny farm even the staff has to be crazy to deal with the patients.  they're pretty annoying sometimes.
so anyway, for reasons i've yet to understand, my mom and i agreed that i'd go to an alf. even *after* i tould her i could settle on her solution to just have 2 mg of medicine twice a week, which i'm sure would've done it.  oh, well.
i've been putting this off anyway, getting a room with roommates.
that reminds me. damnit i didn't bring my wallet.
and i wasn't *exactly* putting it off, i tried and reality said, eh. maybe next year..
also i suspect that when a person is *too good* in one of those hospitals, they don't let them leave.. they crave the healing.  that's kind of a theory, but it's the kind where you almost intuitively know.
speaking of which

i met an archangel.. in the flesh.  if i had to guess, either Michael or Uriel.  probably Uriel.
i met angels in the flesh before, but not with as a close relationship and not discovering it in such a cool way.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

 ilyarien 
 mommy why is the police officer looking at u funny? "don't worry about it honey." mommy he just fell!! "oh well."
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 ilyarien 
 If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it so it doesn't make a sound, do the squirrels feel the vibration?
"And when *I* perfect two overlapping versions of Zombie Nation, can you feel it in your heart..?"
Tori: "Richard, can you turn your music down a bit.. cuz we're watching criminal minds.."
Richard: <looks confuddled> "But I hate that show..!  I LIKE my music!"

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


Your feelings will never get you into "trouble," because your feelings are your truth. If you want to live a life where every feeling is filtered through the machinery of your Mind, go right ahead. But don't look for joy in such machinations, nor for celebration of Who You Are
18 minutes ago via Neale Donald Walsch ·  ·  · Share


it's one of my "short stories" because it's written in language, necessarily, here on Earth, in the post-agricultural era..
what is this!?  how did I get here!?
oh, myspace.
how did i get to my SPACE!? oh, my God..
"look, here's what happened.."
"maybe it was the same before."
"i just told you not to do that."
"..and it's something deep in your soul.."
"so, you know now that it's not the same as it was before, right? and I know why, but I'm not explaining it."
"something mystical i guess.."
"..Quite mystical; it's QUITE mystical when it goes, 'Binary.'"
Jimmy tirades into the kitchen with demands for his daughter.
She feels frustrated and upset and he can't understand why.
"face the music" is the next phrase that comes out of his mouth.
Chuck Norris is standing in the room with them, and he has an experimental play..
"Jimmy, come here for a moment.." he gestures slightly.
Chuck Norris carries a gun in his belt behind his back slightly under his shirt on most Tuesdays.
"Please stand outside for a moment.."
Chuck Norris wonders what to do next.

it was a theory that it was for his own good, but they decide they understand each other.
jimmy eat world
Willy Wonka read, "it's perverted to talk about it," and Johnny Depp thought until Willy Wonka came to the funny inspiration: "it means that it's also perverted to teach it because it makes people your projects."

emma we still love you.

the proof is that you were wrong about your avril picture and avril was right... and you're not even supposed to be wrong about that picture. :)

unless it's just hard to play baseball in the dark..  either way follow your heart.
my qualities..
not the ones i display without knowing it, but the ones i would intentionally desire.

courage
nerve
fair play
intelligence - i don't need it, i could be fry, but i do in this life 'cuz it's part of my persona now
creativity
resourcefulness
pure wizard's blood, but that depends... did wizards come from Earth? cuz they're on it.

resourcefulness is one that, i like but i never knew i had it til somebody pointed it out.
ambition is one i really love, but you can't really say you want ambition.. i mean that's like wanting to be hungry. FAIL. j/k.

wit is one i just found out i had - i try to use it toward a purpose, and not dilly-dally with it like a Slytherin would or a jazz musician flaunting his soul like the French flaunt a word.

chivalry i absolutely despise.  it's like a dress you wear which resembles fair play but it's based in something impure that i can't even identify yet..  it's partially to impress the ladies, so it's for the same reason men aren't beautiful, it's partially just for reputation, and it's partially because "there's no such thing as eternal respect.  respect is a signal you give when you don't understand." -Me

Harry Potter 7

Harry meets up with a conflict with Professor Snape, and he refuses to take the school policy for an answer.  Snape, of course, rigidly appeals to school policy (even though he doesn't have to).  Harry won't back down because of the principle of the matter, but he doesn't want to be kicked out of Hogwarts either, because there aren't really any other magic schools around, and if you wanna mingle with magic outside the school, you'd better consult ol' Voldy.  Or just go into the American Populace and Do It, but it's unclear what the rest of the characters in the movie would do in that case... I mean, why should they be so interested in anything that happens outside of their precious school, and would Obama protect him?  Anyway..
So he and his friends gather to do what was originally gonna be a large plot to uncover the truth behind Snape's action, but in the meantime they lose the battle and they're already in so much trouble with the school already there's not much option for them to be reintegrated in a normal way.  They appeal to the headmaster of the school, and he says they have the option of making a fifth house.
In the spirit of evading the same problem with rules that they had already run into, the fifth house doesn't really center on any values particularly.  It's all about learning and growing, by sparring with others, general chit-chat, et cetera.  They might have a few rules involving safety, but not all of them are interested in them.. The fifth house basically provides a context for people to mingle, on a permanent or intermittent basis, within the school's community, without ascribing to the school's curriculum.  But, there are some rules that apply, basic ground-rules, due to being on school's property, *particularly* those pertaining to dealing with the other houses..
Of course, they have full access to the school's libraries and to any teachers who have free time for the general student body.
The 'house' has no formal set of values, although there is a set of pins that people can wear on their shirts to indicate which house they came from, e.g. one pin, or one symbol or even a color at least, for each house.
Games go on in this territory.. the masters of the house sometimes play games with the guys & gals from the other houses.
For example, with Gryffindor, they may play a trick on the people to make them express bravery or what they think is courage in false scenarios, to remind them that they lack cunning, intelligence or wit.
With Hufflepuff, they might frustrate them endlessly with games of non-fair play and no resolution... 'Games Without Frontiers' ;)
Ravenclaw is a hard one, and they don't really attack it unless on a general level and not any of its specific qualities.  Pure souls who come to Ravenclaws in groups of 5-6 might easily find themselves picked on..
Ravenclaw's main talent against the Slytherins is wit.
Hufflepuff's main quality against them is hard work..
Gryffindor's main quality against them is *probably* nerve, but courage and bravery might fit in too.  Courage is probably the most important value out of all the houses, btw..
Courage, Purity, and Creativity are the two qualities which alone are likely to topple any of the individual houses.  Wit comes in a close 4th.
Purity, of course, is not a mentioned quality and it shouldn't be.. not even for the fifth house.  Voldemort we don't speak of out of fear.  Purity we don't speak of out of respect.  "Only the pure deserve merit, and it is hardly attainable." -Rabinandrath Tagore
Some guys like to mix & match qualities from the other houses and which ones they aspire to in the fifth house. but they rarely talk about them and that's a good thing.  Firstly, because talking about such things is perverted, and that's why some people prefer toppling all the houses on their spare time to begin with; secondly, because they might jinx themselves; thirdly, because then it bounds them to what they said.. and who knows.. they may change their mind.. all the qualities are present to some extent anyway and do people vary?
The issue of Snape's guilt was never resolved.  Harry suspects deep-down that he did it, but he never realizes Snape did it all for the fifth house - or to overthrow the school - or to defeat harry - or to just to test him - or to challenge him - or just to see what happens - or perhaps because he felt like it - or maybe he had pressure from 'above' - or maybe he wanted Harry to do magic on the outside ... who knows.
Snape never really shows his gratitude if he has any... but he's guilty anyway, poor martyr.
Really, and this is the puncher, Snape only did it because once Dumbledore said, if you find yourself in the throws of a dementor, simply remember to turn on the light.. and that's so easy somebody's light went off.
Richard Harris: thanks for playing the game..
"Yeah, you sound pretty big, but are you really as powerful as you say you are?"
"I honestly don't know.. why don't you test me some time?  and do me a favor: don't kill me."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

 ilyarien 
@ 
@ i had to switch blankets, i think it was because my niece walked in.. ;P
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ but isn't it reciprocal if half those squirts make it into my mouth? or at least on my face somewhere.. sigh.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ cuz you know they're just enjoying it more than they can control it.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ oh, but the greatest thing though, is when they orgasm and pee at the same time, and it comes out in rapid spurts.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ maybe i can just convince someone to sleep on me who still pees in their bed. what do you think..?
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ but when can my mouth be there..? it's not fair. life never is..
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ back like such a cute human-animal and it squirts out straight backward like a fountain..sigh.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ omfg i almost had to end it there but i just remembered i *really* like it when they stand on all fours and pee from the
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ in someone else's mind trapped in windmills of your mind.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ and at least i'll remember it for later cuz it's in such a cold place in my mind. maybe on a warm summer's day..
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ it's so cooold it sends me chills, and it's all metal.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ i swear to god they have like 2 phosphors, and i didn't even think of the fact before that you could do it with 2: purple & yellow.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ and also, the stupid white LED always messes it up. i mean, its spectral envelope is like worse than a friggin 80's fluorescent.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ just not as tasty.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ but sometimes.. i just fill my cup up from the tap on the fridge and ohhh sigh it always looks just like the real thing.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ anyway, i always wonder what it's like to drink straight from the source.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ but i suppose if she likes drinking the white stuff from the cup, i'd be that much more enthused when she's watchng.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ but it's nice to see it there and when someone .. puts it in
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ not that i always wanted it in the cup that much anyway.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ but if it's not in the cup anyway.. how's it ever gonna get cold? now that's a weird one.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ but that means whether it's in a cup or not.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ now, with the darker stuff you still kinda want to have it warmer because it only fits.. okay?
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ i mean unless she was there.. and she had the green stuff. but still. otherwise.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ but mm i wanna see it darker. but not the green stuff please.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ anyway i wonder if it would be darker or lighter, 'cuz when it's in the cup it really matters. the darker stuff tastes more anyway.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ i mean i know 'a lot of it in the cup' isn't usually relative to the cup-size, but you know what i mean.. like, just in case.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ & only then if there's a lot of it in the cup, and it's at least a normal-sized cup.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ unless, maybe, it was still warm and i watched her and she kinda really wanted me to.. sigh.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ and sometimes i fantasize, sigh, drinking it, but i wouldn't drink it from a cup of course.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ one of my *best* dreams though, ever, was when some girl was standing over me and pissed all-over my face.. ahh. it was recent too.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ but why can't i have the girl who lays on top of me and just pees..mmm... sigh.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ and when i was younger i dreamed that all the girls in the class peed down the walls of a large funnel i was in to my mouth.
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ i remember when i was a kid and staying over at laura and lisa's house, they always peed all over their bed, mm so sweet
 ilyarien 
@ 
@ my blanket on my head right now smells like pee and i like it because it's probably not mine.